Not Quite What I Wanted

This sweater didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I thought it would be a supercute little baby ringer tee. Um, not so much...

The mohair didn't do what I thought it would.

I knit a halter top underneath to give myself a bit of modesty. However, it's so freakin' itchy that I can't wear it without a tee shirt anyway. I have reworked this dang thing three times. I'm going to get rid of the ringer detail or lower the neckline and shorten the sleeves, then I'll give up. I'll felt it and make it into a tacky purse.

Oops!

The sweater I wore in the photo was felted this afternoon. Fortunately I have a kindergartener at home. I'm off to look for a separating zipper. Isabel has been jumping up and down that I knit her a tiny jacket. I hope it works.

I knit a February Lady Sweater. It's not great. It's too big and sloppy. I hope there's enough light to photograph it tomorrow. I wish there were a way to shrink something just a little bit. I'm not going to let anymore of my sweaters go downstairs again. It's too dangerous next to the laundry room.

Knowing when to say goodbye

Have you ever been in a miserable relationship much longer than you should have? I was with Isabel's biological father exactly 2 years, six months and 15 minutes longer than I should have.

I should have run when that pregnancy test was positive. I thought I owed him a second, third, fourth, hundredth chance because he was the father of my child. It turns out he doesn't deserved to be called a father.

***

I should never have adopted a "fired" seeing-eye dog. The podiatrist at the clinic I used to work for told me the sad story of a blind-assisting dog that was about to be destroyed because he didn't fit the mold. He acted up a little too much. His owner would be dining in restaurants and Elgin would run over and lick plates clean. Cute, not destructive. Right?

Wrong. He ran away. I'd have to pay a huge fine every time I got him out of the clink. The dog puked at least ten times a day from eating yarn, aluminum foil, entire sacks of bread (including the sack.) He never once let us pet him. I wasn't his master. He wasn't supposed to love anyone else. I actually felt that he hated me. I would try to take him for long walks and he would trip me and tangle me in the leash. He would lunge at every piece of garbage, sometimes making me fall. He humped everyone and everything.

The fifth time I had to bail him out of the pound, my father finally took him to a boys' reformatory school run by a friend of his. It was on a farm. 100 lonely boys don't care if a dog wants to be loved. The dog is probably bald now from petting.

***

Where was I going with this? I felt sorry for this yarn when I saw it at the thrift store. I thought that it deserved some love. I was wrong. This yarn is cursed. It's a bastard. This is the fourth time it was knit and it just can't behave. I'm going to put it in time out for a few months. Then I'm going to felt it. (I only felt/full yarn I hate. Take that, jerk yarn!)

P.S. Never, never, never, ever try to knit puffy sleeves with bulky yarn. You are just asking for heartache if you do. Trust me on this one.

Clown Vomit Cloche

Per my darling Auntie Jay's request, I have started the Clown Vomit Winter Set. Aunt Jay teaches special ed kindergarten and likes bright colors. They call her the "Pink Lady" because she wears bright pink every day. (At least that's her story and she's sticking to it...)

The yarn is my own bulky 2-ply handspun carded wool. I love spinning rolags. I am holding a single strand of vintage faux mohair for fluff. I'm going to full it a bit to close up the crochet gaps. The convertable mittens are going to be knit with the same bright flowers on the wrists.

I hope this thing shrinks enough to be a hat.

IcaruZZZZ....

Icarus is the leading over the counter wool sleep aid with no risk of dependency. I can only handle a few rows of the increases before drooling on myself. (In a bad way.)

I planned to knit this for the Air Force Ball. I am only 283 stitches into over 500. The ball was a few weeks ago. (I didn't go anyway. I just didn't feel like it. I don't know why. Maybe it was the thought of attending without a hand knit doodad.)

The project has been a mess from the start. I bought the yarn on a trip to Bozeman. It was boiling hot outside and the streets were torn up. My husband and 4 year old were tolerant of my shopping, but wilted. When the clerk offered to wind the skein for me, I declined. I started winding in car on the way home. Three and a half hours later, I had started the fourth tiny ball and had wasted about 100 yards to hideous knots. It took me eight hours to finish winding due to the mess I made in the car.

I got to put the flannel sheets on the bed this morning. My husband is a sweaty sleeper, but these babies are 100% cotton. They are snugglish for the crispy, cool weather. Nice.

Maybe I'll finish Icarus for Christmas. Maybe next year, or the next.