I finally broke down and bought a new slow cooker. My old one was was contaminated with dye. I finally moved it downstairs to the laundry room so it won't be in the way. Now I can conduct my diabolical dyeing experiments in a basement, like a true evil mad scientist.
Now that I have a crockpot that's safe for human food preparation, I can cook more warm, stewy comfort foods. Seriously, this is way better than scented candles. My kids come home from school and sigh about how delicious the house smells.